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A breath in the eyes of eternity

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[18 Mar 2006|10:57am]
hey
For those of you who have not yet added my new journal, it is siobhangilmore.
There's a lot of interesting stuff written in there, you have no idea. But you cannot read it unless you add me!
2 comments|post comment

Surprise [27 Feb 2006|11:02pm]
I have a new journal.
A new livejournal.

You must:
Comment
to
be
added.

And it is friends only, because I am that elite. Way elite.

siobhangilmore
3 comments|post comment

[20 Feb 2006|10:39am]
Way to be really fucking immature.

Tell me when you're ready to handle your own life and when you're ready for some fucking responsibility.
2 comments|post comment

[15 Feb 2006|03:23pm]
My Valentine's day turned out much, much better than expected.


:)
2 comments|post comment

[14 Feb 2006|12:57pm]
I hate immaturity, and hypocrites.
I'm so sick of people these days, save a select few who are actually pretty chill.
I'm ready for a change.
3 comments|post comment

low-fat diet does not cut health risks [11 Feb 2006|09:55am]
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/02/08/health/08fat.html?_r=1&pagewanted=1&8bl&oref=slogin

"We are not going to reverse any of the chronic diseases in this country by changing the composition of the diet," Dr. Howard said. "People are always thinking it's what they ate. They are not looking at how much they ate or that they smoke or that they are sedentary."

Surprise, surprise. Eating low-fat foods in order to cut risks for diseases is actually not quite as effective as people make it out to be. There was an eight year study on this including 49,000 women, and this is a huge discovery seeing as how most doctors have recommended cutting back fat intake in order to reverse or decrease disease risks.

Eat correct portion sizes, don't limit what foods you can have.
3 comments|post comment

random thoughts [07 Feb 2006|10:08pm]
I used to think depression and addiction was really appealing and that I could relate with people who went through these things. I was totally into the really scene kids with all of their similar myspace pictures and doing anything to improve their self-image. I'm completely willing to admit that, and I would have gone for somebody like that in a second.
I'm really glad that I'm over that now. More and more it's just more disgusting and dissapointing for me to see all of my peers spending so much time on their self-image when a lot of them are completely empty inside. I know this complaint is cliche, but it's been annoying me lately, and yes I am a hypocrite. I've spent a lot of time trying to find friends here that are worthwhile in the sense that they actually have some substance, and that's really hard to do where I live, but I'm still trying. On the bright side, I'm doing much better and I'm living life day by day and I am being productive and finally self-satisfied.
7 comments|post comment

[03 Feb 2006|12:12pm]
I'M BACK.

call me, I miss you.
5 comments|post comment

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT [29 Jan 2006|10:33am]
I get released on Friday!
I feel much better now and I'm ready to try this whole living life without an eating disorder again.
Plus my boobs grew like a lot, so now I'm definitely ready for college.
17 comments|post comment

IP [08 Nov 2005|05:54pm]
Fuck, I'm scared.
3 comments|post comment

[08 Nov 2005|04:15pm]
My mom just came in my room and told me to stop sleeping because there was no reason to be sleeping in the middle of the day. I told her I had no reason to wake up and we sat for about five minutes arguing about how there was no point in me getting up. She eventually walked away, without giving me a reason to wake up but still bent on me not sleeping.
Chill.

So now I have nothing to do for the next lots of hours.
8 comments|post comment

[01 Oct 2005|09:56pm]
Some guy in Ralph's called me or Breanna (or both) a skank tonight.
We were just looking at soy ice cream, I don't even get it. We're both in long sleeves and pants. Dude, whatever.

This guy also tried to sell us belgian waffles. I don't know why, but he felt the need to tell us how the waffles were made and what was in them and how they were so special, etc. Really strange, we didn't buy anything from him.

Strange people, man.
2 comments|post comment

Joyless [25 Sep 2005|08:37pm]
Shittyyyyyyyyyy.
2 comments|post comment

[18 Sep 2005|08:01pm]
Who wants to go to Burning Man next year with me?
9 comments|post comment

[18 Sep 2005|05:25pm]
God.
I hate it here.
People here: suck it. suckitsuckitsuckit.

Blehhhhhhhhhh
Rahhhhhhhh
Help!
1 comment|post comment

I like the innocent type [16 Sep 2005|11:52pm]
Only double A, thinkin' triple X.



yeahpeaches.
2 comments|post comment

[04 Sep 2005|09:26am]
For some reason I feel really lonely, but different this time.

I miss having something to belong to, some sort of consistency and comfort to feel a part of. Everything is new here and I don't have a group of friends who will call me up and ask me to hang out. I don't really have anyone to do that. I'll hang out with people and have a good time but I still feel out of place, like I wouldn't really hang out with them if I had the choice. I'm looking for people who are like me but I really don't feel like I'm finding any.

At least next weekend I'll be in Moorpark so I can be a little more happy.
3 comments|post comment

[02 Sep 2005|05:05pm]
1) My uncle once: mooned our video camera during the family reunion, it's still on tape.

2) Never in my life: will I be a scientologist.

3) When I was five: my mom made me look like a boy with a bowl cut and overalls.

4) High School was: in the past, thank God.

5) I will never forget: important people.

6) I once met: Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.

7) There's this person I know who: is training to become a yoga teacher and everyone wants her because she is amazing.

8) Once, at a bar: I GOT FUCKING WASTED. OH HO.

9) By noon I'm usually: drvin' home from school. or at school, or at work.

10) Last night: I went to bed at nine o' clock.

11) If I only had: not the stomach flu.

12) Next time I go to church/temple: I'll go with an open mind.

13) Terri Schiavo: yeahbulemia.

14) I like: myself, and my friends.

15) When I turn my head left, I see: a bookshelf.

16) When I turn my head right, I see: Philosophy and Contemporary Issues.

17) You know I'm lying when: haha, I don't lie.

18) In grade school: I had braces, I moved around a lot.

19) If I was a character written by Shakespeare, I'd be: so much cooler.

20) By this time next year: I'll be in my third semester at college, and I'll be almost eighteen. ALMOST LEGAL.

21) A better name for me would be: I like the name Astrid.

22) I have a hard time understanding: people with thick accents.

23) If I ever go back to school I'll: I'm goin' back Tuesday.

24) You know I like you if: I am nervous, or if I pay a lot of attention to you. (duh)

25) If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: whoever helped me get there.

26) I hope that: I'll be appreciate this place and not be bitter towards it soon.

27) Take my advice: read Generation X. And listen to Radiohead.

28) My ideal breakfast is: chocolate chip vegan pancakes with fruit.

29) A song I love, but do not have is: thank you Soulseek.

30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: the closest white pride rally. OH HO, I love the south. =/

31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips, & track stars: possibly.

32) Why won't anyone: tofu.

33) If you spend the night at my house: I'd make you breakfast in the morning. ;)

34) I'd stop my wedding for: Conor Oberst. (sorry, it was expected)

35) The world could do without: haha, 9/10 of the population in this place.

36) I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: ew.

37) My favorite blonde is: myself.

38) Paper clips are more useful than: my dog.

40) And by the way: I am procrastinating on my homework, and would really like something to do tonight. And this guy on myspace thinks I want to rape him, I'm sure. I most certainly don't.

41) The last time I was drunk, I: have never been drunk.

42) My grandmother always: gives me tons of material objects. She's a sweetheart though.
4 comments|post comment

White print. [31 Aug 2005|08:16am]
[ mood | grateful ]

Things are getting better.

Ashley came and visited me this weekend, and you guys are in for one hell of a myspace party. BYOB.
OMG I'M SO FUCKED UPPPPPP. THIS WILL BE ME IN THREE MINUTES.
We can't be together without cracking up for some ridiculous reason, it's getting out of hand.

Ashley left, and I had a great day yesterday. I made another friend! Her name is Jess and she's twenty-four and we get along extremely well. This is a friend I feel completely comfortable with, someone I want to hang out with a lot, not just a friend I have so I can meet other people or to keep myself from being alone. I went up to her yesterday morning and started talking with her, which was very courageous of me, I must say.

I gained so much self-confidence from that experience. I went to Albertaco's again after school to see if anonymous boy would be there again, but he wasn't. So I sat alone eating my mexican food, and the guy who took my order remembered me from the day before. "I remember all of the nice girls."

I came home, took my dog to the dog park, and drew some. I'm getting back into drawing and this time it's just to express myself. Before I was worried about impressing people who saw my art but now I really like how it turns out and it's much better.

After that I walked to the beach and it was beautiful. I initially went there to write down my thoughts in my journal, but it was difficult to pull myself away from watching the waves and the people enjoying themselves. I wrote a couple pages and felt a compulsion to go into the ocean. I had forgotten my bathingsuit but it didn't matter, I went in and the water was gorgeous. It was spectacular, for some reason the ocean really made me feel beautiful and whole.

I went to a meeting, and it's great to see how much I've grown. I was with these girls who couldn't see a future without their addictions and were resisting recovery anyways, and I felt much more accomplished. I am still struggling on occasion, but things are getting better.

I came back home and met Jess for coffee in Laguna, and I second-hand smoked for the 1 1/2 hours that we were there. I really do feel a buzz from inhaling that, I start to get dizzy, but I don't mind it. We had just an excellent conversation, talking and laughing and sharing our lives, I felt so comfortable with her. I'm really glad I made a true friend, it's so refreshing.

I came home, did crunches and yoga and went to sleep. I feel so empowered by yesterday that I'd like to make today just as fantastic. Which will be hard because it's lab day and that is something I'm not looking forward too, but I'll get through it. :)


Thanks to everyone who helped me when I was in a worse place than this, things are getting better.

12 comments|post comment

[27 Aug 2005|10:39am]
http://www.drugratingz.com/ShowRatings.jsp?tcvid=517

"Little did I know that Lexapro is given to sex offenders because it is believed to have the worst sexual side effects of all antidepressants. I had no interest in sex, and worst of all, COULD NOT get an erection. I'm talking complete lack of erectile function here. After that I stopped taking it. Besides that, it gave me terrible depression and suicical thoughts. Beware "

Fantastic.
6 comments|post comment

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